The emotional trauma brought on by the death of a close family member is often accompanied by bewilderment about the financial and legal steps the survivors must take. These steps may inconveniently come on top of commitments to family and work that can’t be set aside.

Probate, also known as estate administration, is the process that occurs after a person dies and prior to his or her assets being distributed. In North Carolina, estate administration is governed by the North Carolina General Statutes as well as the rules of the Clerk of Superior Court in the county of the decedent’s residence. Administrators are responsible for being aware of these laws and rules and are charged with following them. Getting support from an attorney with estate administration experience allows the process to be implemented smoothly and efficiently.

This listing includes the first few steps a surviving family member may want to take. These responsibilities may ultimately fall on whoever is appointed executor or administrator. Note that matters can be a bit complicated in the absence of a will, because it may not be clear who legally has the responsibility of carrying out these steps.

It is often recommended that you do not make any long-term decisions about finances for at least six months to a year after your loved one’s death. However, your situation may be different. Please consult an attorney familiar with your particular set of circumstances for decision making advice.

1. Social Security Administration
Phone the Social Security office and notify them of the death. Also, check for eligibility of Social Security death benefits. Call the Social Security Administration at 1-800-772-1213 for more information on benefits for which you may be eligible.

2. Veterans’ Benefits
Call the Office of Veterans Affairs at 1-800-827-1000 to find the office nearest you. Benefits to a spouse and heirs may include pension payments and financial aid for education costs.

3. Safe Deposit Box
Determine whether or not decedent had a safe deposit box by contacting the banks where decedent had accounts. If you determine that the decedent had a safe deposit box, you will need to find the keys.

4. Estate Planning Documents
Find the will, all trusts, and any other estate planning documents. Usually these are kept in a safe deposit box (see above), in a home safe, or otherwise amongst the decedent’s important papers including insurance policies, contracts, bank statements, deeds, auto registration, etc.

5. Inventory Assets
Ascertain the existence of the decedent’s assets and inventory them including the following:

• Bank accounts
• Stocks and bonds
• Life Insurance policies
• Retirement funds: IRA accounts, Annuities, 401K, Pension, and Profit Sharing
• Real estate
• Household goods, furniture and personal belongings as well as antiques, silver, jewelry, furs, stamp collections, or coin collections.
• Business interests – determine whether decedent owned an interest in any business.

6. Receivables and Death Benefits
Investigate other benefits that may be available to the estate, including: social security and veterans’ benefits (see above), union death benefits, employee benefits such as accrued vacation pay, final wages, employee death benefits, reimbursements, refunds on insurance, canceled subscriptions, professional and trade associations, fraternity/sorority, school alumni, and automobile clubs. Unfortunately, government, employment, and membership organization benefits do not come automatically. You must apply for them within their timeframes.

7. Liabilities and Creditors
Ascertain the existence of the decedent’s liabilities and list them including the following: Mortgages, Other secured obligations, Current household bills, Expenses of last illness, and Funeral expenses, etc. IMPORTANT: Discuss any payments you make from or for the estate with an attorney. Considerable liability for the personal representative could result if these payments are not handled properly. Also, beware of swindlers who send phony bills and overcharge for services.

8. Proof of Payment of Expenses by Family and Executors
Be sure to get and keep bills, invoices, receipts, and canceled checks for payments of any and all expenses. The personal representative appointed will need to supply the probate court with proof of payment.

9. Papers and Mail of Decedent
Do not throw out any documents such as life insurance policies and certificates, even if the policyholder stopped paying premiums. The policy may still be in force. In addition, mail and letters may be needed to prove payment or ownership of assets later.

10. Protect Assets
a. Be sure and keep the insurance going on the home and on any personal property so that these assets will be protected during the probate period.
b. Secure valuable tangible property. This means anything you can touch, such as silverware, dishes, furniture, art work, etc. If property is passed around to family members before you have the opportunity to take an inventory, this will become a difficult, if not impossible, task. Also, there may have been specific provision for items of tangible property in the will.
c. Have someone watch your home (and the decedent’s home) during services. Sadly, burglars have been known to read obituaries to find out when no one will be home.

11. Clip obituary notices
Some insurance companies require a dated newspaper announcement in order to process claims.

12. Death Certificates
Order ten or more certified death certificates. Usually these can be obtained through the funeral home or the NC Department of Vital Statistics. A certified death certificate will be needed in order to begin the probate process. You will need certified copies of death certificates to claim Social Security and insurance benefits, change ownership of joint property, to enter safe deposit boxes and to file tax returns. Photocopies are often not acceptable. Here is the website for the NC Department of Vital Statistics: http://vitalrecords.dhhs.state.nc.us/vr/requests

13. Taxes
There will be tax concerns including filing requirements, communicating with federal and state tax authorities, and observing deadlines. Due to the extensive subject matter, please consult an estates attorney for more information. However, certain relevant tax returns are:

• Decedent’s Final Income Tax Return
• Gift Tax Returns
• Federal Estate Tax Return
• Generation-skipping Transfer Tax Returns
• State Inheritance and Estate Tax Returns
• Fiduciary Tax Returns

14. Minor Children
If other parent of decedent’s children has died as well, and there are minor children, a guardian is usually nominated in the will. A guardianship is required for minor children who would be receiving cash and/or valuable property in accordance with the decedent’s will. Always check the will as to whom the decedent named as guardian and custodian for the minor children. This mainly applies to those situations where both the mother and father have died and the children are under 18 years of age.

15. Do not miss Deadlines
Upon the death of a person, the clock begins ticking on certain important legal deadlines imposed on family members, fiduciaries, and beneficiaries by federal and state authorities. For example, you should contact Social Security and the Veterans Administration right away because a delay in applying can result in the loss of some benefits.

16. Consult with an Attorney
An attorney will help you determine if probate is necessary, and if so, what type of probate is necessary in order to handle estate obligations, transfer the assets of the decedent to the persons named in the decedent’s will or trust, or the decedent’s legal heirs. The attorney will take the first steps to initiate the probate process with the filing of the necessary court papers.

Bring as much information as possible about finances, taxes and debts. Don’t worry about putting the papers in order first; the lawyer will have experience in organizing and understanding complex financial statements.
And note, the costs for legal counsel are, with only a few exceptions, expenses of the estate and not costs the personal representative or family members have to pay out of pocket themselves.

In Conclusion: Probate is a Process that doesn’t have to be a Problem
Legal procedures are the furthest thing from your mind when a loved one passes away. There are many issues, however, that need to be addressed when a person dies – even if the person’s family is not ready to deal with those issues alone. Engaging a qualified estate attorney with experience in probate issues will enable you to take the best steps to minimize taxes, legal wrangling for the executor, family, and beneficiaries, and may save you money and stress in the long run.

This law firm services all of North Carolina particularly the Counties of Mecklenburg (Charlotte, Huntersville, Matthews, Mint Hill, Cornelius, Davidson, Pineville, Ballantyne, Lake Norman, South Park Area), Union (Monroe, Indian Trail, Weddington), Cabarrus (Concord, Kannapolis), Gaston (Gastonia, Mount Holly), Iredell (Statesville, Mooresville), and Cleveland (Shelby, Kings Mountain).

Grief can be overwhelming, agonizing, numbing. But no matter how terrible, the bereaved have to go through it. Those who try to bottle up and avoid their feelings only prolong the experience. Grief is part of the process we must go through to get to the other side — to fully recover from our bereavement. What should we expect during this time?

1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief. No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. So, when you turn to others for help, don’t allow them to tell you what you should or should not be feeling.

2. You have the right to talk about your grief. Talking about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you want about your grief.

3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions. Confusion, Guilt, Responsibility, Disorientation, Fear, and Relief are just a few of the emotions you might feel as part of your grief journey. Others may try to tell you that feeling angry, for example, is wrong. Don’t take these judgmental responses to heart. Instead, find listeners who will accept your feelings without condition.

4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits. Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don’t allow others to push you into doing things you don’t feel ready to do.

5. You have the right to experience grief “attacks.” Sometimes, out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can be frightening, but it is normal and natural. Find someone who understands and will let you talk it out.

6. You have the right to make use of ritual. The funeral ritual does more than acknowledge the death of someone. It helps provide you with the support of caring people. More important, the funeral is a way for you to mourn. If others tell you that rituals such as these are silly or unnecessary, don’t listen.

7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality. If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. If you feel angry at God, find someone to talk with who won’t be critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.

8. You have the right to search for meaning. You may find yourself asking, “Why did she or he die? Why this way? Why now?” Some of your questions may have answers, but some may not. And watch out for the clichéd responses some people may give you. Comments like, “It was God’s will” or “Think of what you have to be thankful for” are not helpful and you do not have to accept them.

9. You have the right to treasure your memories. Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. You will always remember. Instead of ignoring your memories, find others with whom you can share them.

10. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal. Reconciling your grief will not happen quickly. Remember, grief is a process, not an event. Be patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid people who are impatient and intolerant with you. Neither you nor those around you must forget that the death of someone loved changes your life forever.

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Excerpted from “The Mourner’s Bill of Rights” by Dr. Alan Wolfelt. For more information and resources on grief and loss contact The Center for Loss and Life Transition. Their website is www.centerforloss.com.”

This law firm services all of North Carolina particularly the Counties of Mecklenburg (Charlotte, Huntersville, Matthews, Mint Hill, Cornelius, Davidson, Pineville, Ballantyne, Lake Norman, South Park Area), Union (Monroe, Indian Trail, Weddington), Cabarrus (Concord, Kannapolis), Gaston (Gastonia, Mount Holly), Iredell (Statesville, Mooresville), and Cleveland (Shelby, Kings Mountain).

Once someone close to us has died, in addition to the monumental process of managing the shock and grieving our loss, we soon have to turn to the business of handling this person’s final matters. This would include non-judicial tasks such as handling the funeral arrangements. But it also includes the legal procedure called probate also known in North Carolina as Estate Administration. The probate process begins immediately after death.

The word probate has Latin roots and means to prove and, appropriately, one of the tasks which must be performed as a part of the probate process is to “prove the will.” Probate, the legal process of “proving up” a Will, or establishing the validity of a will before a judicial authority, takes place in one of two instances. First, if a person dies testate leaving behind a Will, or second, if the deceased has died intestate, that is, having not left behind a Will, Trust, or estate plan of any type or if no testamentary document can be found.

In the case of a testate probate, the Will nominates a person to be the personal representative called the Executor or Executrix. If the decedent died intestate, the personal representative is referred to as the administrator. In any case, this person assumes the responsibility and liability of making sure the estate administration meets all of the requirements and deadlines imposed by law and the courts.

Probate is designed to create a “final accounting” upon death. This final accounting is a specialized, legal presentation for the federal, state, and county governments, certain creditors, beneficiaries, and heirs of the deceased (also referred to as the decedent). In North Carolina, it is controlled by the North Carolina General Statutes and the Clerk of Superior Court.

While often maligned as a headache, every probate is different. The estate is composed of the assets owned by the decedent prior to death as well as any interest, residuals, dividend, profits, or rents on these assets to which the estate is entitled. The estate is responsible for paying certain creditors and bills owed by the decedent. However, great care must be utilized in following the requirements of the law in selecting, paying, and documenting the payments to these creditors and bills. Not all are to be paid and not all are to be paid 100% of their outstanding balances. And before paying any of them, there are certain payments which must be made first to the children and to the surviving spouse for which the estate is responsible. Not following the law carefully could subject the administrator to personal liability and lawsuits.

While probate has developed a harsh reputation over the years, this characterization generally applies for people who have not prepared ahead of time for their death, or for those Executors and Administrators who do not have qualified legal assistance. Depending on several factors, probate can either be a relatively simple task or a daunting one. Be aware that no matter the situation, probate may be a lengthy process often taking months or possibly years to play out, and one which may take a considerable amount of an executor’s time. It is always a good idea for the Executor or Administrator to retain qualified legal support before beginning this process. And the good news is that, with few exceptions, if an attorney is hired to help with the administration, the estate pays the cost for the attorney and not the Executor or Administrator! Engaging a qualified estate administration attorney with experience will enable you to take the best preventative steps to minimize tension, taxes, and legal trouble in the probate process.

This law firm services all of North Carolina particularly the Counties of Mecklenburg (Charlotte, Huntersville, Matthews, Mint Hill, Cornelius, Davidson, Pineville, Ballantyne, Lake Norman, South Park Area), Union (Monroe, Indian Trail, Weddington), Cabarrus (Concord, Kannapolis), Gaston (Gastonia, Mount Holly), Iredell (Statesville, Mooresville), and Cleveland (Shelby, Kings Mountain).